SERIOUSLY - THEY ALLOW THESE PEOPLE TO VOTE?

"We have a problem in this country called Muslims," the man said. "We know our current president is one. You know he's not even an American."

"We need this question?" Mr Trump said, laughing.

"But anyway," the man continued, "we have training camps growing where they want to kill us. That's my question: When can we get rid of them?"

SERVES HIM RIGHT!

‘A nine year-old girl in the US has killed her shooting instructor by accident whilebeing shown how to use a high-powered submachine gun.’

(from BBCOnline)

(hey, she was only using her second amendment rights)

DUMB ASSES

 So here’s how dumb the credit card people are. The form instructions (for bogus charges) say to fax it or mail it to some address in Texas using the enclosed envelope – addressed to South Dakota!! So I faxed it…

IRAQ

'President Obama: 300 military advisers to go to Iraq'

Not a good idea, pretty sure that's how we ended up fighting in Vietnam back in the 1960s & '70s.

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to

 repeat it." (George Santayana)

A LITTLE TOO MUCH 'AMOR'

'The 12-year-old girl said she was molested by Rios about twice a week over the past year, the sheriff's office said. The older girl said Rios touched her about 15 times starting in 2011 and that he told her he was doing so because he loved her as a pastor and that she shouldn't tell anyone because he could get in trouble, the sheriff's office said.

Rios has been the pastor at Casa De Amor (House of Love) church on Windhorst Road.'

Yeah, the name probably should have tipped people off; not the church to send your kids to!

BARS & CHURCHES

 Two places you can now carry a gun in the state of Georgia. Good job, there's nothing more satisfying that getting into an argument and pulling out your Tec-9 and shooting the bastard. And it's cleaner than a barfight. Well, except for blood on the floor, but that's why God made sawdust!
 And in church, too. That's enough of that turn the other cheek and love thy neighbor crap. I sez draw fast and may the faster man win. Why it's just like Call Of Duty but funner...yee-haw!

WELL, DUH

“They walked right in on camera. They’re playing the odds and they’re getting arrested. But if you can’t fix stupid, we can arrest stupid,”(Polk County,FL Sheriff)Judd said.

The sheriff said the operation zeroed in on more than 40 people, with some stealing things worth next to nothing.

“We saw the smallest retail theft was a $1.50 for some Pringles. And when asked why in the world you'd steal Pringles, his response was well I’d been smoking marijuana and I had the munchies,” Judd said.

FOUND ON LINKEDIN

“As an example, you may have successfully brought on 50 new clients in your time with your previous company--use this as a segway into how you plan to increase sales for your potential employer.”

And park that segue in front of the fake-ade!

REALLY?

'County leaders said they've looked into the issues and are under strict regulations from state water officials. They say sinkholes shouldn't be a problem but residents don't buy that. They plan to fight until the end.

"Beyond the end, if we need to," said Jones.'

Really? Let me know how 

that works for you...

SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO WONDER

 Thought this was funny; the top line was the story headline on BayNews9.com, the lower line was the actual story...pretty funny, eh?

Fla. attorney who led gambling ring tied to veterans charity sentenced to 6 years in prison

SANFORD, Fla. -- 

(AP) Fla. attorney who led gambling ring tied to veterans charity sentenced to 6 years in prison.

SERIOUSLY?

Forty-two years after it was released, classic family film 

The Railway Children has

prompted its first complaint to the British Board of 

Film Classification.

"The correspondent was concerned that children

 may be encouraged to play on railway tracks as

a result of seeing the film," the BBFC's annual report

reveals.

(Yes, stupidity never ends, does it?)

HOW ABOUT 'DUMBASDIRT'

‘The number sequence '123456' was the most popular password among Adobe users exposed by a security breach, suggests analysis.’
From BBCOnline

STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES

'Xxxxx is the former physical education teacher for Landmark Baptist Christian High School. The victim, now 19-years-old, told police that the first time they had sex was when she was 16, in the band room at the school.

Pastor Xxxxxx Xxxxxx said as soon as he got a complaint about Xxxxx acting unprofessional, he dismissed him.

"One teacher reported to me, 'well he's carrying a girl's book bags or her ball equipment or whatever it was after school'. Almost like you'd expect two teenagers to do," said Xxxxxx.

The pastor also said he had no idea anything illegal was happening at the time and told the girl's parents about the PE teacher's dismissal.

"I wanted to tell them since their daughter's name was mentioned to me. They said, 'well, preacher, no problem. He's an old family friend, he's been knowing our daughter a long time and it's no problem.' So that ended it," Xxxxx said.'

(Apparently he knew her in the biblical sense…names changed to protect the stupid…)

BOY, THAT'S SURE HELPFUL...

UPS Quantum View <auto-notify@ups.com>

At the request of AXXXXo Pump, this notice is to confirm that the following shipment has been delivered. Important Delivery Information Number of Packages: 1 UPS Service: GROUND Weight: 69.0 LBS Reference Number 1: 99324 Reference Number 2: 272945RS Merchandise Description: Merchandise Yup, actually received an email with the above info at work the other day. If my 'merchandise' got lost I guess I'd never be able to call the shipper and tell them my 'merchandise' was lost; since they'd probably want to know what I didn't get...??

THAT'LL TEACH 'EM (MAYBE)

Two young men who bragged about robbing a newsagents were caught after their distinctive underwear was spotted on CCTV.

Reece Winfield, 18, of Top Valley, Nottingham and Corey Hobson, 17, of no fixed abode, robbed cigarettes and alcohol from Ling Forest newsagents.

CCTV footage captured their underpants showing above their low-slung trousers, which they were still wearing two days later when arrested in February.(!!!) (from BBCOnline)

(hahaha...sez I...serves 'em right!!

1 + 1 = 1?

(This is part of an actual email forwarded to me; fortunately I wasn't on vacation or I may have received it twice also!!)

"GreetingsI believe when I sent this to you *****, you were on vacation.
Hope you had a nice Christmas / New Year break.
Wanted to remind you of this event forthcoming.
Regards"

So of course, they re-sent the email because it would most likely mysteriously disappear while ***** was on vacation instead of just sitting there in his inbox until he came back to work...sort of the way some people leave you their phone number twice in a voice mail, just in case you don't feel like playing it over if you missed the phone number the first time...

IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SECEDE, TRY, TRY AGAIN

So I see in the news today that people in ‘Red States’ are petitioning to secede from the United States, with the largest number being from Texas. First of all…seriously?? Second of all; let them all move to Texas, and then give it back to Mexico!
(If they'll take them, that is...)

ONE LAST THING

So a few weeks back, I was coming home from the 

Publix supermarket in my town, and I ended up behind a car with this bumper sticker on it...and I don't mind people putting political messages on their cars...but...

...But this is what really pisses me off; you drive this and put on that bumper sticker?? Really, don't you think that one kind of cancels out the other? Maybe the economy died for your employees, but I'm guessing it sure didn't hurt you!. And just to let my readers know, I actually saw that bumper sticker on that car, and so did someone I work with, so think twice before you vote for the wrong person!

PS: I drive a 10 year old Toyota Echo, still does 40mpg hiway, 35 city...

BEATING THE DEAD HORSE

TALLAHASSEE -- 

 A judge is holding a hearing today on a ballot challenge alleging President Barack Obama is not a 'natural born citizen.'
 The plaintiff represented by conservative legal activist Larry Klayman questions Obama's birth certificate showing he was born in Hawaii.
 It also argues that even if Obama was born in the United States he still is not a natural citizen because his father was a foreign national.

 The suit describes plaintiff Michael Voeltz, as being a registered Democrat.

(Or possibly a registered nutcase...)

Seriously, this has been going on for 4+ years, and they still can't give it up?  

 As my Dad used to say: "If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, then baffle them with bullshit" I guess that's the new motto of the Republican Party...

RUN THAT BY ME AGAIN, PLEASE