Tuesday, September 29, 2009

WHAT LIZARDS DO WHEN THEY'RE HORNY

Really, saw these two going at it on the sidewalk near my daughter's apartment. But they're not real energetic about it, kinda mellow, actually. Funny thing is, we have lizards on our back porch(keeps down the insects), and I've never seen them going at it!! (Though babies show up every so often)
Go figure...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

HAND SANITIZER

The way I see it, hand sanitizer can only help Swine Flu. Reading the bottle it says "Kills 99.99% of germs."
Well, that's nice, but what about the other .01%? That's probably the stuff that kills you, since it's strong enough to survive hand sanitizer. So, the more hand sanitizer you use, the stronger the killer germs get.
Remember, every time you wash, the bad guys win...

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

SEPARATED AT BIRTH?


















C'mon, now, you gotta admit they sure look like brothers; Eddie Van Franken or Al Halen...take your pick...

Friday, September 18, 2009

QUEUE MY ASS


Stupid computer at work, seems every time I run a report, it takes next to forever before it actually prints. Apparently, it's waiting for it's turn in the queue. Dumbest thing I ever heard of, almost 30 years of business computers I've never had to wait for reports to run in a queue!
So I've decided to call it the 'Fuc-queue', now and forever after(f-queue in mixed company...)

Thursday, September 17, 2009

RIP: MARY TRAVERS

Mary Travers of the popular folk trio Peter, Paul, and Mary died after a years-long battle with leukemia. She was 62. In the early '60s, Travers joined Peter Yarrow and Paul Stookey to make music that mixed acoustic guitars with liberal politics. The band recorded several Top 10 albums, and scored a No. 1 hit with "Leaving on a Jet Plane." Of course, everyone's real favorite was "Puff the Magic Dragon" - was it a drug song?...no, not really, but yes, if you wanted it to be. But a great kiddie song anyway.
So goes another icon from the past, singing harmony vocals for the band in the sky...

THE ISLAND OF THE DAY BEFORE

By Umberto Eco: And don't let the "by the author of The Name of the Rose fool you. This is one of the few books I didn't finish reading, and that's very rare - can actually think of only one other in the last 50 years of reading. Made it through about 90 pages (of 500+) and realized I had too many books to read to waste any more time on this one. This book gives an interesting premise of being shipwrecked on a deserted ship, and then proceeds to become a long convoluted story about events not related to the shipwreck.
So, you may want to read this book someday, but be forewarned...
Caveat Lector...(look it up in your Funk & Wagnalls)

WASTED SEASON...PT.2

Well, it was the country singer who talked with a mouthful of marbles and used to chase chickens for a living before he lost his job!
Hey, who could make something like that up!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

ANOTHER WASTED SEASON

Yup, down to the finals on America's Got Talent, and once again it's all about singers; my guess it's the opera singing lady. Which is fine for all that, but for Las Vegas!? Really?? Would you pay $100 in Vegas to listen to a lady sing opera for 60-90 minutes? Didn't think so. Last years winner was a guy who sang opera, no-one's heard from him lastely, have they? Should been Grandma Lee(comic), Haido Torres(contortionist/dancer, or Fab 5(dancing sisters). But no, singers once again, which I blame on the judges for not thinning out the ranks of singers in early rounds. Hey, let them go on Idol if they want to sing. You know, the only famous winner so far is Terry Fador, the ventriloquist, he really made it to the big time.
And you know what else? The much vaunted $1,000,000 prize...$25,000/year for 40 years!! What kind of crap is that? You know the judges are being paid big time, they have all sorts of famous acts come on for the last shows (for padding) like Shakira, Rascal Flatts, etc, and you they made some nice money...but they can't give the winner a damn check for the winnings? What's 25G going to be worth in 10/20/30/40 years? What a rip.
Remind me, next year I'm definitely not watching...(maybe)

PRAGUE BEER DRINKING TEAM


Cool hat,eh? Another gift from Crystal, to go along with my Czech Budweiser Budvar. And that, my friends was a great beer!!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

WHY BOTHER?

It was in the paper today that the world's oldest person, a 115 year old lady, died. On her 115th birthday, when asked to what she owed her longevity, she said it was due to not drinking, not smoking, & not fooling around.
Which begs the question...in that case...
...what's the point???

Thursday, September 10, 2009

THE REAL THING (BEER #658)

Here it is folks, the real Budweiser, the one made without rice. Drank this the other night, the only bottle I had, smuggled in straight from the Czech Republic, thanks to Crystal & Vac.
And see, it even looks like beer, not flavored water!!
So if you're ever in Europe, check this one out, if you've only had the fake one, you're in for a treat.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

HOW COOL IS THIS

Here it is: 9:09 on 09/09/09

Thursday, September 03, 2009

IN AND OUT OF CHARACTER

By Basil Rathbone: An autobiography of sorts; yes actually written by him; no, not much biography in it. Basil tells a bare bones version of his life story, originally through 1956, then 1962. However, much of the book is philosophizing about life, people, theater, radio, TV. He spends a lot of time talking about how life was back then, but not much in the way of stories about the movies he made. Even though the cover picture shows Basil as Sherlock Holmes, very little is said about what is arguably his most famous character. Most of the book talks about his life in theater, and one gets the impression he didn't care much for movies other than as a way to make some money.
A shame really, I was hoping for something more, but even so, it was an interesting read.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

BEST EXCUSE EVER!

Best get-out-of-work excuse ever:
the president told me to stay home!
If I were sick, that is...or maybe even if I wasn't...

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

KING OF FRIES

Yes, I am the king of fries...just don't give me ketchup, or I will use them as a eating tool for the ketchup. Fries rock, but ketchup rules!!
(Food according to Ryley)