THE THIRD REVELATION

By Ralph McInerny:

"John, are you safe there? The news is absolutely horrible. How is Heather?"

"I've put her into a convent of Carmelites."

"Do they make candy?"

FROM THE EDINBURGH SCOTLAND FRINGE FESTIVAL

The top 10 festival funnies were judged to be:

1) Nick Helm: "I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."

2) Tim Vine: "Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels."

3) Hannibal Buress: "People say 'I'm taking it one day at a time'. You know what? So is everybody. That's how time works."

4) Tim Key: "Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought... once you've hired the car..."

5) Matt Kirshen: "I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'. So we stopped playing chess."

6) Sarah Millican: "My mother told me, you don't have to put anything in your mouth you don't want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards."

7) Alan Sharp: "I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure."

8) Mark Watson: "Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife."

9) Andrew Lawrence: "I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can't even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails."

10) DeAnne Smith: "My friend died doing what he loved ... Heroin."

BEST! STEAK! EVER!

Smokin; Jim himself...
So last night Phyl & I went to Smokin' Jims House of Bar-B-Q her in A'dale; it's been there for quite a few years, but we've never been since we're not big BBQ fans; even though we drive by it all the time. Well, sorry to say, that was a lot of wasted opportunities!

Saturday night is steak night, so after much thought, I went for the 12oz Sirloin, which came out medium-medium rare, as ordered. Oh my god! What an incredible piece of meat! With a sauce that was cooked on, not poured on and a nice char outside & a beautifully cooked inside, this is arguably the best Sirloin I've ever eaten...and I've eaten a lot of them!

Phyllis enjoyed her pulled pork, and the sides were quite tasty also, especially the baked beans which had little pieces of real pork mixed in for an extra special treat.

So let me reiterate...

BEST! STEAK! EVER!

MEN'S ADVICE COLUMN

NEW BURGER KING MASCOT?

Now that Burger King is getting rid of creepy face king; here's a new mascot for them. As you can see, it's actually above a Burger King!

And this fellow is in Niagara Falls, Ontario; in the Clifton Hill Entertainment District, at a place called "The House Of Frankenstein" (haunted house with a Burger King attached.)

Now that's what I call co-branding!!

OVER THE FALLS

Over the years, many peiople have gone over the Falls, quite a few have survived...the barrel was ridden by a 50 something schoolteacher in 1901..she actually survived...

So did the people who rode these contraptions...

...But not this guy...

SHREDDED WHEAT

Yup, Shredded Wheat, which I had actually forgot was once made in Niagara Falls, NY. Once, at the Falls, however, my brain gave a little jog and I remembered eating the big size Shredded Wheat (do they even make that anymore?) & remembering the box had said about it being made in Niagara Falls. So went looking for the factory, now sadly, closed. Accidentally drove by the back of the building and was able to take a picture as we drove by. Now the Post Shredded Wheat products are apparently made in Niagara Fall, ON, just up the road from the Clifton Hill entertainment district.

But I still enjoy Shredded Wheat, no matter who makes it, or where!

RIP: AKIRA 'JOE' YAMANAKA

1946 - August 7, 2011. Lead singer of the Flower Travellin' Band who formed in 1968, broke up in 1973, reformed in 2007. A band I actually learned about last year and started listening to. A good rocking band with influences of Cream & Jefferson Airplane. Interestingly, Joe took over as lead singer of the Wailers after Bob Marley's death in 1980 and stayed with them for 5 years.

So now you and Bob can sing duets, that would be interesting, no?

Rock on Joe, rock on...

(ps: Joe's the one with the 'fro)

NIAGARA FALLS (AMERICAN)

Mother Nature at work...incredible!!!

Truly a sight to behold, beautiful & majestic, and of course - dangerous. Just today there was a news report of a Japanes student who fell into the river and was swept over the falls...truly a spine-chilling thought, especially after seeing the water going over the falls (at Horshoe Falls 675,000 gallons...a second...)

RIP: JANI LANE

Dead of unknown causes at age 47 (but take a guess anyway). Never a big fan of Warrant, but my daughter was; she has his autograph from when she met him in Orlando back when he was still leading the band.

So get yourself a piece of cherry pie and rock on Jani, rock on...