FRIDAY FUNNIES

LAST WORDS

by George Carlin (& Tony Hendra)

‘My mother, on the other hand, had a fucking list: “That telegram when I wired you $50 in Chicago? The telegram was $2.50. So that’s $52.50.” I would say: “What about those sneakers you got me in fourth grade? Where does being a parent end and being a loan shark begin?”’

And I was lucky enough to see George back in 71-72 (little hazy there) when he was at the top of his game with the 7 words bit. At the time, he had been best known as Al Sleet, the Hippy-Dippy weatherman. (which I believe he still did live.)

And he was still funny up until he died; a man who could do more with words than most people could dream of.

 Sure was hoping he would live forever...

DON'T THANK ME

‘In a news conference outside the courthouse on Tuesday, Mr Curtis thanked his family, friends, Jesus,

Mr Wicker and Mr Obama.’

(In a separate statement, Jesus denied any knowledge of Mr Curtis)

THE MOST HILARIOUS???

Iranian Foreign Minister Ali Akbar Salehi said to suggest a link between al-Qaeda and Iran was "ridiculous".

"This is the most hilarious thing I've heard in my 64 years," Mr Salehi told the Iranian Isna news agency.

Really? The most hilarious…? Maybe he should get out more and watch, oh I don’t know - maybe The Hangover…Airplane…Blazing Saddles…Young Frankenstein...seriously…

RIP: RICHIE HAVENS

1941 - 4/22/2013 Perhaps most famous for his opening gig at Woodstock (though he wasn't scheduled to be) where he played for the best part of 3 hours and became an unforgettable part of the Woodstock movie.
Rock on Richie, rock on...

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER ON BEER

“Milk is for babies. When you grow up, you have to

drink beer.”

FRIDAY FUNNIES

FAMILY NIGHT...?

And when, once again, the Lightning suck, you can leave early to watch your free rental movie...so the evenings not an entire waste!!

GANDALF STYLE!

BEER POEM

Beer and Women

While I’m at the tavern quaffing,

  Well disposed for t’other quart,

Come’s my wife to spoil my laughing,

  Telling me ’tis time to part:

Words I knew, were unavailing,

  Yet I sternly answered, No!

‘Till from motives more prevailing,

  Sitting down she treads my toe:

Such kind tokens to my thinking,

  Most emphatically prove

That the joys that flow from drinking,

  Are averse to those of love.

Farewell friends and t’other bottle,

  Since I can no longer stay,

Love more learn’d than Aristotle,

  Has, to move me, found the way.

17^th Century, Anonymous

POINTS TO PONDER

The plural of "anecdote" is not "data."

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

IN THE ARENA

by Charlton Heston (a great actor, even though he turned into a right-winger):

‘Still, both that (Sioux Indian blood-brother rites) and the Montagnard initiation were easier than swallowing that sheep’s eye at the Berber feast in the Sahara.’

Which is something my Dad once did when in Saudia Arabia for Mobil Oil in the 1960s. He said it was considered a great delicacy and when offered, it would have been an insult to not eat it. So he popped it in and swallowed it whole like a raw oyster. He said he was glad he only had to do it once!

FRIDAY FUNNIES

RIP: ANNETTE FUNICELLO

1942 - 4/08/13:  My favorite Mouseketeer, and c'mon, wasn't she everybody's?  Also a singer and actress in those great 60s cheesy movies. Struck down too young by MS; finally an end to her suffering.
 Sorry to see you go, still a place in my heart for you.
M-I-C-K-E-Y(Why, because we like you)---M-O-U-S-E...

BLACK AND BLUE (REBUS#8)

By Ian Rankin:

‘The music was a mixture of kitsch disco and regressive rock; Chic, Donna Summer, Mud, Showaddywaddy, Rubettes, interspersed with Rod Stewart, the Stones, Status Quo, a blast of Hawkwind…’

FRIDAY FUNNIES

LET IT BLEED (REBUS#7)

By Ian Rankin:

‘That was the problem with exercise; it wasn’t any fun. None of the fit and active people he saw around him seemed any happier than anyone else. No point in exercising to elongate your life, when you weren’t getting any more out of life than any other poor sod.’

DAVID DAYE ON BEER

“If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs.”

(David Daye is a maker of Irish bagpipes - so he ought to know!)