HAPPY BIRTHDAY WILLIAM WINDOM

Born on this day in 1923, he's an actor who's appeared in movies as diverse as To Kill A Mockingbird, Escape From the Planet of the Apes, Dennis the Menace, and the 1993 Attack of the 50 Foot Woman .

But the reason I bring this up is that he looks a lot like my late Uncle Truman did, when they were both younger. Uncle Truman,Dad's brother, was a real nice guy, who when I was young lived in New Jersey and worked as a salesman for a spice company. He passed away a few years ago, when he was living not far from Mom & Dad on Vancouver Island. His son Guy lives in Toronto, and is a retired headmaster. He collects toy soldiers (the collectable kind) and has a room full of them.

All of which has nothing to do with William Windom, but hey...it's his birthday and it just started a train of thought...now derailed...

RIP: ROBERT RUGZA

Who died Sept. 26 of liver failure at the age of 58. While not really well known, he was a musician with Ted Nugent's Amboy Dukes and played on the Survival Of the Fittest album.

Apparently he lived very low key, since he lived here in Lakeland Florida where I work, and
never seemed to play any live gigs in the area.

But I always hate to hear of any musicians from my era dying, it makes me feel my age...

MONA LISA PREGNANT?

French & Canadian researchers now think that the Mona Lisa may be smiling because
she was pregnant or had just had a baby.

Primary suspect is Michelangelo's statue of David...

CHEFS MISS PANCAKE STACKING RECORD

POSTED: 10:04 am EDT September 27, 2006
UPDATED: 10:12 am EDT September 27, 2006

CHICAGO -- It's no short-stack. But the stack of pancakes isn't a record, either.
Chefs at the Cooking and Hospitality Institute of Chicago tried to get into the Guinness record book Tuesday. But they couldn't make a stack of pancakes higher than 16 inches.
That's more than 11 inches short of the record, set in France in 2003.
The Chicago cooks prepared 400 pancakes for the attempt. But they found stacking them is tougher than it looks, because pancakes really aren't flat as a pancake.

And then of course, there was the guy who kept eating them, thinking it was a pancake eating contest(yeah - I could definitely do that)

LAST 6 BOOKS READ

1) Guilt by John Lescroart: Another lawyer book, this one with the lawyer as the suspect. Did he kill his wife? Well, you'll think he did & you'll think he didn't, and then you won't know what to think.

2) The Far Side Of The World by Patrick O'Brian: This is the one they made the movie from(Master&Commander), but I sure don't know why. Captain Jack Aubrey takes his ship 'The Surprise' to the Pacific Ocean and ends up stranded (twice). And that's about the extent of the excitement, was hoping for a naval gun battle, but no such luck. I wonder if the rest of the series is as boring as this one was, but I probably won't bother to find out.

3) Nine Days Queen by Mary Locke: In 1553 (at the age of 16)she was Queen of England for 9 days; in 1554 she was beheaded for it. The real tragedy lies in the fact that she never wanted to be Queen, but was manipulated by her father and others who were more concerned about their positions at Court than anything else.

4) Bound For Glory by Woody Guthrie: A fascinating memoir more than an autobiography, this is a fascinating look at much of Woody's childhood and his early days of riding the rails; both of which shaped the way he saw America and became the champion of the downtrodden and the poor. With some wonderful line drawings done by Woody, who dided way to young at 55.

5) An Instance Of The Fingerpost by Iain Pears: In 1663 England a man is murdered and someone hangs for it. The interesting thing about this book is it's actually four stories; all telling
the same tale, but from the viewpoint of four characters involved - including(lastly)the one who knows the real truth of the murder.

6) The Husband by Dean Koontz: Would you pay $2 million if your wife were kidnapped? What if you didn't have it? Another thriller from Koontz, with more twists and turns to keep you
wondering just what the hell is going on.

A good selection this go around, with the exception of the O'Brian book, but 5 out of 6 is hard
to beat.

BE THE SCIENCE FROG

Yup, that's what I did today. I be the science frog. Remember the science frog?
The science teacher cut open a dead frog and applied electricity to a nerve and the
leg would jump...yeah wasn't that cool.
At least until you're the frog!!

Yeah, I went today for a nerve conduction test today on my poor feet. The doctor
applies electrodes to different points of your feet and applies electric shocks
with something that looks suspiciously like a Tazer! Yeow...if that's low voltage,
I'm sure hoping I never ever get Tazered...Yeow! Actually, most of it was
just sorta tingly, but every so often it would really hit some nerve that would really give you a jolt, and that really did hurt.
Hopefully, somewhere down the road this Tazering will be helpful to solving the mystery of my Neuropathic feet...

JERUSALEM...WHERE'D IT GO?

JERUSALEM (Reuters) - Something always gets lost in translation, but usually not an entire city.
"Jerusalem. There is no such city!" the Jerusalem municipality said in the English-language version of a sightseeing brochure it had published originally in Hebrew.

The correct translation: "Jerusalem. There is no city like it!"

Carrying a photograph of the brochure, Israel's Maariv newspaper said Wednesday tens of thousands of flyers had been distributed before city hall realized its mistake.

And you know the Arabs & Palestinians wished it were true...

PSYCHODERELICT

No, not me, the Pete Townshend album. I was listening to it again the other day and realized what a good album it really is. A great song English Boy,to start, and then an interesting if somewhat warped tale of the comeback of rock musician Ray High. Along the way we meet the manager, the music critic, and the girl with witches teats(say what!). A different style of rock opera/concept album than Pete's usual. This one actually has dialogue between songs that aren't directly about the story as Tommy had, but rather songs that complement the storyline.
You can usually find the cd on the cutout bin, unfortunately it was neither a big seller nor popular with the fans. But the more you listen to it, the better it gets.

And it has one of the greatest end lines of any cd, sung or spoken, that I can remember...

"What happened to the dream, What happened to all that lovely Hippie shit"

Yeah, what indeed...

PATTY, RICK, & LYNN

Saturday night at Universal Studios Florida, rock on. So, they were taping for
a VH1 special later this month, and featured a concert by Patty Smyth & Scandal (...I am the warrior, victory is mine...), which was pretty good, but I only
recognized 2 songs, Phyl said she recognized 4. Other than having trouble with some of the high notes, Patty was still good, and still very good looking.
The funny part was that between shows, while they were setting up for Rick Springfield, Lynn Hoffman (pretty, but flat chested) came out to do the between
number bits, you know, when they come back from commercial and say things like "Here we are in Florida", "Here's another great number from Scandal" & Wow - wasn't Rick Springfield great" all to loud cheers from the audience. Of course, there's nothing actually going on on-stage, but we all cheer wildly anyway. So Lynn actually
taped 10-15 spots one after another, and they'll just splice in what they want
for the show! Pretty funny.
So then we got to see Rick(Dr Noah Drake)Springfield, yeah, and he's still a
dynamic singer/guitar player ("Pretty good guitar for a Doctor" Rick said!). Of
course, this was the reason Phyl wanted to go, so she really enjoyed seeing him.
And I got his show on tape so she can see him again & again. At one point he came
out into the audience and was about 15 feet from where we were, so that was cool.
All in all, a good time was had by all, can't wait to see how it comes
out on TV later this month, see if we made any audience shots.
Definitely worth staying up after the Elliott bedtime...

WHY IS IT?

Why is it that when you call an automated phone answering system they always tell you "Listen carefully - out options have changed."?

Why is it that they also tell you that "Your call may be monitored and/or recorded" but 6 different people ask you for your account number? Hey, listen to the damn recording,will ya!

Why is it when they outsource the call center and you get some Hindu person from India on the phone, they always have names like Bob,Shirley,Dave or Linda?

Aaahh...the wonders of modern technology...

ROCKSTAR SUPER NO-GO

Well, hot on the heels of Supernova picking their
new lead singer - Skunkboy,it seems that CBS et.al.
are being sued by a punk band from California who
already had rights to the name. So, now after a (wasted)
summer of watching Rockstar:Supernova it appears
that the DVD will have to come out under a different title.
How about:
Rockstar:Skunkboy
Rockstar:ShouldapickedDilanaorToby
Rockstar:Davenavarroneedstobuyashirt
Rockstar:Tommylee-"you'rehot-imeanyourock"
Rockstar:IfthereweremorepeopleinIcelandMagni
wouldhavewon

Well, Gilbey, those are my choices, feel free to use one,
no charge,as long as you don't send me
a copy of the new cd.

SEE YOUR DOCTOR IF YOU EXPERIENCE THESE SYMPTOMS

Yes, there's a whole website of funny stuff like this, if you have a real sense of humor. Just click on the title above and see the rest...c'mon, get happy!!

BOYCOTT ABC MINISERIES SUNDAY & MONDAY

By DEEPTI HAJELA, Associated Press Writer


A "terribly wrong" miniseries about events leading to the Sept. 11 attacks blame President Clinton's policies, former Clinton administration officials said in letters demanding that ABC correct it or not air it.

Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, former National Security Adviser Sandy Berger, Clinton Foundation head Bruce Lindsey and Clinton adviser Douglas Band wrote in the past week to Robert Iger, CEO of ABC's parent The Walt Disney Co., to express concern over "The Path to 9/11."

The two-part miniseries, scheduled to be broadcast on Sunday and Monday, is drawn from interviews and documents including the report of the Sept. 11 commission. ABC has described it as a "dramatization" as opposed to a documentary.

"ABC/Disney acknowledges this show is fiction and in direct contradiction of the 9-11 commission report and the facts, and it is despicable that ABC/Disney would insist on airing a fictional version of what is a serious and emotional event for our country," Clinton Foundation spokesman Jay Carson said in a statement Thursday. "No reputable organization should dramatize 9-11 for a profit at the expense of the truth."

Calls to ABC seeking comment Thursday were not returned.

The letter writers said the miniseries contained factual errors, and that their requests to see it had gone unanswered.

"By ABC's own standard, ABC has gotten it terribly wrong," Lindsey and Band said in their letter.

"The content of this drama is factually and incontrovertibly inaccurate and ABC has a duty to fully correct all errors or pull the drama entirely. It is unconscionable to mislead the American public about one of the most horrendous tragedies our country has ever known."

The letters pointed out examples of scenes they had been told were in the miniseries, but which they said never happened. Albright objected to a scene that she was told showed her insisting on warning the Pakistani government before an airstrike on Afghanistan, and that she was the one who made the warning.

"The scene as explained to me is false and defamatory," she said.

Berger objected to a scene that he was told showed him refusing to authorize an attack on Osama bin Laden despite the request from CIA officials. "The fabrication of this scene (of such apparent magnitude) cannot be justified under any reasonable definition of dramatic license," he wrote.

Lindsey and Band objected to advertisements for the miniseries, which they said suggested that Clinton wasn't paying enough attention to the threat of terrorism.

"While ABC is promoting "The Path to 9/11" as a dramatization of historical fact, in truth it is a fictitious rewriting of history that will be misinterpreted by millions of Americans," they said. "Given your stated obligation to 'get it right,' we urge you to do so by not airing this drama until the egregious factual errors are corrected, an endeavor we could easily assist you with given the opportunity to view the film."

The five-hour miniseries is set to run without commercial interruption. Director David Cunningham said it was a massive undertaking, with close to 250 speaking parts, more than 300 sets, and a budget of $40 million. Cunningham has said he shot 550 hours of film. The cast includes Harvey Keitel, Patricia Heaton and Donnie Wahlberg.

 

(With thanks to Mike Montfort, whose blog I found this on)

BEST DIET SONG EVER

SNACK ATTACK

by Kevin Godley and Lol Creme


Midnight Saturday, sat in the dark
Watching the ceiling falling apart
The air conditioner's been busted for weeks
So the smell of cooking seeps through the floor
I can't eat no more

They want me to be as light as a feather
So the doctor's wired my jaws together
Now I'm locked in the bedroom away from the food
So I lie on my back in the dark in the nude
I can't eat no more
I got to use a straw

But if the Devil dragged me down to the kitchen
I wouldn't put up a fight
I'd gladly sign away my soul
For a T-bone steak tonight

     I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac
     I gotta eat, I gotta eat a flapjack
     A stack, a rack, a six-pack, Jack
     Just call me Jack Kerouac
     Click-clack, open up the hatchback
     I could eat a bubble car or a packamack
     Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, Big Mac
     Good God, it's a snack attack

Gimme sausage, egg and beans, and chips
Milkshakes, clambakes, fondue and dips
And sauces, horses, seventeen courses
Of barbequed beef with asparagus tips
Rashers of bacon, bagels and lox
And tandoori prawns and a box of chocs
Spaghetti with mussels, Parma hams
And deep frozen waffles with syrup and jams

My willpower's gone, I'm down on my knees
Praying to the god of cottage cheese
It's no good trying, I'll never beat it
`Cos if it moves, I'll eat it
So undo my trousers, let out the slack
Who cares? It's a snack attack
It's a snack attack

     I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac
     I gotta eat, I gotta eat a flapjack
     A stack, a rack, a six-pack, Jack
     Just call me Jack Kerouac
     Click-clack, open up the hatchback
     I could eat a bubble car or a packamack
     Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, Big Mac
     Good God, it's a snack attack
     It's a snack attack
     It's a snack attack
     It's a snack attack

My father was a gent's outfitter
My mother went crazy, they had to commit her
They used to tell me, "Don't be a quitter"
But I know deep down I'm the runt of the litter
I can't eat no more
I gotta use a straw

How do you take an overdose,
Or even pretend to do it,
When the last straw is the one in your mouth
And you can't suck sleepers through it?
I can't eat no more
I gotta use a straw

But if the Devil took me to Mexico
To taste his guacamol'
I'd gladly sign my name in blood
And give him the keys to my soul
Because I can't eat no more
I can't eat no more

     I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac
     I gotta eat, I gotta eat a flapjack
     A stack, a rack, a six-pack, Jack
     Just call me Jack Kerouac
     Click-clack, open up the hatchback
     I could eat a bubble car or a packamack
     Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, Big Mac
     Good God, it's a snack attack
     It's a snack attack
     It's a snack attack

     I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac
     I gotta eat, I gotta eat a flapjack
     A stack, a rack, a six-pack, Jack
     Just call me Jack Kerouac
     Click-clack, open up the hatchback
     I could eat a bubble car or a packamack
     Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, Big Mac
     Good God, it's a snack attack
     It's a snack attack

Midnight Sunday, asleep on the floor
Curled up in the corner, can't take no more
Armies of food invade my sleep
Led by lasagnas ten inches deep
My head is pounding, my heart is beating
Cows are mooing, sheep are bleating
I'm being haunted by all the meat I've eaten

And then a burglar alarm goes off in my head
And I wake up screaming, am I dead
Or alive? And the clock says five
It's only five in the morning
I'm covered in sweat
Am I hungry? You bet!

Cold turkey's what I'm going through
Cold turkey's what I need
But they've hung a sign on my appetite
Saying, "Danger - Do Not Feed"
I can't eat no more
I got to use a straw
I can't eat no more
I can't eat no more

And they've even taken away
The pictures of food I had on my wall
And my treasured collection of menus
They screwed up into a ball
In front of my face they flicked it
Out of the window, into the night
But they'll never unscramble the combination
They'll never get it right

Now if they made a feature film
That featured only food
I'd wallow in the crowd scenes
While the rest of the audience booed
And if I got myself a video
I could satisfy the need
I could check out the action frame by frame
And watch the calories breed
But I can't eat no more
I got to use a straw
I can't eat no more
I can't eat no more
I got to use a straw

     I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac
     I gotta eat, I gotta eat a flapjack
     A stack, a rack, a six-pack, Jack
     Just call me Jack Kerouac
     Click-clack, open up the hatchback
     I could eat a bubble car or a packamack
     Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, Big Mac
     Good God, it's a snack attack
     It's a snack attack

     I feel like Kojak sitting in a Cadillac
     I gotta eat, I gotta eat a flapjack
     A stack, a rack, a six-pack, Jack
     Just call me Jack Kerouac
     Click-clack, open up the hatchback
     I could eat a bubble car or a packamack
     Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, Big Mac
     Good God, it's a snack attack
     It's a snack attack

GLOBAL WARMING...IT'S ALL GOOD...

The Ten Best Things about Global Warming:

10. Why pay for tattoos when melanoma's free?
9. No more pesky weeds. In fact, no more pesky plants.
8. Nile Encephalitis: not just for Egyptians anymore.
7. Furnaces convert easily into tornado shelters.
6. Helsinki: the new Riviera.
5. Middle East oil producers feel right at home— everywhere.
4. Golfers only need a putter and a sand wedge.
3. For those who can't get enough of global warming. One word: Venus.
2. Steaks, medium rare, on the hoof.
1. Three thongs and you're dressed!

Brought to you by GardenEarth.com and the authors of DEAD MARS, DYING EARTH.

Please include this credit with copies. Thanks.


Saw this somewhere, couldn't resist.
Hey - if you can't laugh about the end of civilization,
what the hell can you laugh about!!!













©2004 GardenEarth on SolarCafe, Inc., all rights reserved

NUMBER 500

Yep, that's the cap above from beer number 500; Koningshoeven Blond Trappist Ale.
So now I've tried 500 different beers, from all around the world, over 35 years, but mostly the last 5 or 6. And of course, it's only a drop in the bucket of the thousands of beers being made.

So I still have years of taste-testing ahead of me...it's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it!!

VOTE FOR ME, I'M IMPORTANT

At least judging by the size of the signs. It seems that the people running for judges have the most important elections today. These folks have the largest signs I've seen so far this election year. And a couple even have billboards! Billboards!! And how many of these people does anyone actually know? Other than criminals and lawyers, and of course the criminals can't vote.
So it just seems a waste of money to have these judges campaigning; all they really need is a poster next to the polling places with the names & photos of all the people running for judge, then we can just pick the ones who look like judges...