THE IRAQ SOLUTION(S)

I had a thought the other day, while listening to yet another discussion about the whole Iraq mess. Why not outsource? We outsource damn near everything these days because it's 'cheaper', at least if you don't factor in the quality (or lack of it, when was the last time you've heard of lead paint in toys mad here in the U.S.ofA.?) So how about if we outsource the whole 'war on terror' to some other place? Maybe to some other Muslim country, since they always seem to be fighting each other anyway. This way, the Muslim sects can take out their aggressions on each other (instead of us), and get paid for it. Which would certainly be cheaper in American & Allied lives, and also cheaper than what it's costing in $$$.

So, let's put some effort in looking for the cheapest way of doing this, the same way we look for thecheapest way of doing everything else. Or, speaking of cheaper, perhaps we just offer illegal aliens citizenship if they go to Iraq and fight for 5 (or 100) years. That way, it doesn't cost anything but the price of weapons and the paper to print the certificates for the survivors.

Hey, c'mon, it's just as intelligent an idea as anyone else has come up with - at least I have a plan!

1,2,3...FLAME ON

The three steps of stupidity;
1) Carry a gas can on your head.
2) Leave the cap off.
3) After sloshing gas on yourself, smoke a cigarette.

Now, this really happened...it was in today's paper. The lady who
did this is burned over 20% of her body after her friends put her out.
The paper says that she is not in danger of dying from the burns.

However, she is probably in danger of dying from her stupidity, sooner or later...

I YAM WHAT I YAM

Popeye...which brings us to today's topic. The founder of Popeye's Chicken died the other day, which brought to light an interesting fact.

Apparently, Al Copeland, who started out with a one man donut show, later went into the fried chicken biz after seeing the success that KFC

was having. The interesting part is that the chain was named after Popeye Doyle, the character in The French Connection, and not

Popeye the spinach eating sailor. Go figure! The funny thing is, shortly before moving to Florida (late 80s) there was a Popeye's

grand opening in a town near where we lived. So we went, being that it was the first Popeye's near us back then, and who did they

have at the grand opening celebration...

...Popeye the Sailor!

 

 

CLASSIC ALBUMS LIVE

"Note For Note, Cut For Cut" or so the advertising goes. And actually, it's pretty damn close, considering that it is a live version of the album, which can almost never sound the same as the actual studio version. So we went to see the second of the 3 shows in the spring series - Who's Next, which is probably my favorite Who album. And it was absolutely incredible!! The band, which had a total of I think 11 people who grouped and re-grouped in sets of 4 to 9 depending on the song, were absolutely spot on musically. They even had one lady who only played the cello(?) in 'Baba `O Riley', and the ending of that song was a sight to see, didn't know anyone could play a cello so fast. The singer was incredible, and while not expecting him to sound like Roger Daltrey, he certainly channeled the spirit of Roger. And that makes a lot of the show; when we saw The Doors album live last month, the singer, while a decent singer, just didn't come across as well, and the show overall was less exciting. And the guitar player 'Dr Mike', also sang the Pete Townshend & John Entwhistle songs - which worked ok since he wasn't a great singer and neither were they. And when the album was done, the band got a standing ovation, a real concert style one, not a broadway show style one! And after the break they came back and did some more Who songs, and that was fun too.
So, if you get a chance to see this outfit, you should definitely go, while you never know what line-up you may get, all the band members are incredible musicians, and you will most likely enjoy whatever album you go see. Our next show is Zep's Houses Of the Holy, and there's plans for Boston & Abbey Road for the fall - maybe Toys In the Attic in July (yeah!!).
So, go out, pretend you're young again, and rock on...

BEER TRIVIA

  Did you know…

The first u.s. breweery was started in Manhattan in 1623.

Beer was first U.S. mass bottled beer was sold in 1850.

Beer was first sold in cans  in 1935 – it was Krueger's Finest in Richmond VA.

Brown Ale is often reddish in color.

In 2007, 2 of the U.S.'s top 5 beer suppliers were importers.

Among the country's top 10 beers in sales are Corona at #6 & Heineken at #9.

 

And here's the most interesting part…

The drinking age is 21 or over in only four countries:

South Korea

Malaysia

Ukraine

and…

you guessed it…

the U.S.A.

Doesn't it make you proud to be in such fine company…?

RIP:ARTHUR C CLARKE

 At the age of 90 in Sri Lanka. Now here's someone that goes back into the deep recesses of my past. Probably started reading him back in the early to mid-sixties when I started reading Science Fiction. Even belonged to the SFBC when their books were about 99 cents! Of course, he was generally best known for 2001:A Space Odyssey, but I've also read Childhood's End & The Nine Billion Names Of God, among others of the over 100 SF & non-fiction books he wrote. Interestingly, he also invented the concept of communication satellites in geosynchronous orbits in 1945, which orbits are now named after him. And here's an interesting quote he once said after telling reporters he had arranged to have his DNA sent into orbit after his death:

 

"One day, some super civilization may encounter this relic from the vanished species and I may exist in another time," he said. "Move over, Stephen King."

 

So now he joins other writers from my past like Philip K Dick & Isaac Asimov where perhaps they'll get to see the far future and find out how close they may have been to reality...hey, you just never know...

LAND OF THE FREE

 Sam from work just got back from a vacation trip to Washington,D.C.; you know, the capital of the land of the free, home of the brave.

He tells me the most striking thing about Washington is the number of armed police ALL over the place. Sitting in cars at intersections

all over the place - in museums, at monuments, etc. Even some with patches that say "Special Police". I wonder if they go to "Special School" for that? And of course, you can't just go in the monuments & State Buildings anymore unless you have a ticket that they give out in limited quantities at 8:30 in the morning - and not that many tickets either, considering the number of tourists in D.C. Sure makes it sound like the 'terrorists' have already won, doesn't it?

 And the ironic part is; when you finally get in to see the Declaration Of Independence and the Constitution, they've now become so faded that they're pretty much impossible to read.

 As the documents go...so goes the reality...

REBATE & SWITCH

As you may have heard, the Bush Administration said 
 each and every one of us would now get a nice rebate. 
 If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will 
 go to China . If we spend it on gasoline it will all 
 go to the Arabs, if we purchase a computer it will all 
 will all go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatamala, if we 
 purchase a good car it will all go to Japan, if we 
 purchase useless crap it will all go to Taiwan and 
 none of it will help the American economy. 
 
 
 We need to keep that money here in America , so the 
 only way to keep that money here at home is to buy 
 prostitutes and beer, since those are the only 
 businesses still in the US

     With thanks to Fred (you know who you are...

GUITAR ZERO

 An interesting concept, Guitar Hero, who hasn't at some point played air guitar to their favorite song. I know I did (still do in the privacy of my home) especially in college, where 3-4-5 of us would play a whole album and air band to it. One guy used to love doing Jethro Tull so he could stand on one leg and play air flute! Ah, the good old days. So now, they have this video game, and it's probably fun. But only if you do it right. Two guys at work do it at lunch time, and they sit down and really concentrate while doing playing. C'mon, where's the fun in that. Why is it about beating the game (or each other) instead of rocking out?! Sitting down and rocking out are mutually exclusive, even if Eric Clapton made it popular and one a Grammy for it. Of course, he never would have had such an iconic song as Layla if he'd done it sitting down and acoustic to start with...

So c'mon Guitar Zeroes - stand up and be Guitar Heroes...

GOVERNOR GETS CAUGHT

Well, today in the news I see the Governor of New York got caught paying for call girls. High class call girls no less, part of a prostitution ring that was being investigated. At least he is a Democrat (albeit a stupid one) or we would have been reading about…

A gay prostitution ring…hahaha

BEER - NOT BEER

 During 2007, Anheuser-Busch discontinued Anheuser-Busch Lager, Natty Up, Bacardi Silver, Bacardi Silver Big Apple, Peels Blueberry Pomegranate, Peels Spiced Apple, Peels Strawberry Passion Fruit, Peels Cranberry Peach, Peels Spiced Apple, Spykes Banana, Spykes Blue Raspberry, Spykes Grape, Spykes Hot Chocolate, Spykes Peach, Spykes Melon, Spykes Lime, and Spykes Mango.
 Did you notice the common thread here? Most of the cancelled products are malt beverages, not beer. And the obvious beer product, A-B Lager,

I can't say I ever saw on the shelves here where I live.

Maybe A-B needs to get back to it's core products,ie "BEER" & perhaps make a better tasting beer to compete with imports

instead of marketing malt beverages to people who obviously don't drink enough of them to keep them in the marketplace. Maybe

better marketing of Michelob Honey Lager, which I enjoy, but is hard to find, would be helpful. How about a draught version to

complement the Amber Bock? Just because we may want more flavor in our beer, doesn't necessarily mean a darket beer. Some

beers just go down easier, and if you concentrate more on those, sales may go up.
 Hey, just some thoughts from a guy who started out with Bud (NOT Bud Light-yecch!), and still has a soft spot for an occasional pitcher...

RATHER ODD

 Watching No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain the other night; don't know if

you've seen it, but he travels arounfd the world and eats local foods - rarely

in restaurants. Interesting, but mostly stuff you or I wouldn't eat. However, the show

is very much about fresh foods, prepared and eaten pretty much as fresh as one

could possibly get. So one of the commercials on this particular night:

 

SMART BALANCE BUTTERY SPREAD...

...which is probably as far from natural food as you can probably get...

 

 

TODAY IN HISTORY

 On this day in 1959 the Barbie Doll was first sold.

On this day in 1974 I married Phyllis, and here we are 34 years later, still

going strong.

THUNDERSTRUCK

Or as I call it, Phil Esposito's most hated song. Yes, it is the AC/DC song we all know and love, let me tell you the story. Back when the Tampa Bay Lightning were first starting out, they used to hold training camp at the Lakeland(Civic)Center. Which was real neat since it was only a 15 minute drive from work and I used to go there a lot to watch them practice and meet the players afterward. And Phil Esposito, who used to be a well known hockey star in the 70s (and even did a jeans commercial for Sasson Jeans) was the general manager at the time. So, you could see Phil, his brother Tony (the famous Blackhawks goalie) and other people who worked for the Lightning in the stands on a regular basis. Even met Bobby Orr one year when he was a scout for them, autographed a Bruins puck for me. Anyway, the music people at the Center, and even at the games, used to love to play the intro guitar to Thunderstruck quite often when the Lightning were coming out on the ice. So one day, I was going down to the concession area for a drink, and as I turn the corner onto the stairs, here come Phil, saying to himself "I hate that fucking song", and then noticed me, and sorta gave a short laugh. Needless to say, I thought it was hilarious, and everytime they played that song afterward, I'd always tell whoever was sitting nearby "Hey, did you know Phil Esposito Hates this song?" and proceed to tell them the story.

Needless to say, I'm sure it's not in his autobiography!!

WOULD YOU EAT HERE?

 Saw an ad in the paper today for a restaurant, not a new one. Oddly enough, it was advertised (right at the top) as "One Of Lakeland's Cleanest Restaurants". Now, I like to eat at clean restaurants – don't we all. But, first off, it's only ONE of the cleanest. Second of all, this begs the questions "how's the food, how's the service?" I mean, I don't really want to eat at a place that's relatively clean with crappy food and lousy service. I'm not sure if I'd even want to eat at an impeccable restaurant with crappy food and lousy service.

But, hey…maybe that's just me…

LEDGER TO BUY NEWS CHIEF

 So my 'favorite' (as in not) newspaper is buying another local paper, which I don't read.

Unfortunately, they will be getting rid of quite a few jobs; apparently they're only offering 24 out of 70

people continuing jobs.

 And of course, the proofreaders will be the first to go...

BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN

And the Ledger strikes again. They had a small article in the business section about a book being offered for free online by the author. The book is called Beautiful Children. Now, does this
automatically make it a children's book? Well, apparently the people who write for the Ledger didn't bother to check out the website they referenced in the article or they wouldn't have titled the article: "Children's Book Is Free Online".
Yes, a book about the seamy side of Las Vegas would be just the thing to let your young `un download...

RIP:JEFF HEALEY

Jeff Healey 1966-2008
Guitarist Jeff Healey has passed away of retino blastoma, which he had fought since birth and had taken his eyesight at the age of one. Died March 2nd in Toronto at the age of 41. Damn shame; though never one of my favorites, he was a damn fine guitar player. You may have seen him in the movie Roadhouse where he played the blind guitar player at the Roadhouse.
I do own his covers album that he put out a while back, interesting to hear his take on old classics.
So rock on Jeff, rock on...

MASTER RYLEY - ROCKIN' DUDE

So we had Master Ryley of 7 months old for the weekend. What a guy! But the story is about bringing him home for the weekend. Jami brings him to work on Friday so I can bring him home
to party with the grandfolks for the weekend. Driving home, we're listening to John Mayall; no response from the Ryley dude. Mayall is done, put in Jimi Hendix Are You Experienced. Well, after the first song, all of a sudden, the second song the thumb goes in mouth and humming commences. And oddly enough, he stops humming after the second song - waits for the third song and starts up again after the break!!. And so it goes for the rest of the drive home... What a rockin' dude...
...he obviously gets it from his mom, who could have been born 50 years ago and fits right in.