FROM THE LOG OF THE MAYFLOWER

"For we could not now take time for further search (to land our ship), our victuals being much spent, especially our beer."

Happy Thanksgiving!

SAY WHAT?

The inventor of the Gif image format says it should be pronounced Jif, despite what the Oxford English Dictionary says. (from BBCOnline) (In related news; the makers of Jiffy Peanut Butter say it should be pronounced as 'Giffy'.)

11/22/63

 Some flags flying at half-staff today; hard to believe it’s been 50 years since JFK was assassinated.

Still remember the whole school being brought into the cafeteria and being told that the President had been shot, then a bit later, had died in Dallas. Even at the age of 10, it was a traumatic event; even being that young (which was a lot younger then than it is now) you realized an earth shaking event had happened.

 So time goes by, and still no definitive answer as to who was behind the assassination. At least no answer that 99% of people can agree on. I’ve read quite a few alternate theory books, and some actually make as much sense as ‘the real’ events did.  Even the one that ‘proved’ it was an accidental shooting by one of the Secret Service agents following behind the President’s car.

 And in the back of my mind, every so often I wonder how things would be today if Kennedy had lived.

Would the world be such a crazy place that it seems to be; would politics be such a mess that it’s turned into?

Or would history be pretty much the same overall, with only the details slightly different? Is there an alternate universe where John Kennedy and his brother both lived and both had 8 year presidencies?

Beats the crap out of me…

FRIDAY FUNNIES

RIP: JOHN PRICE (STRANGER)

11/14/13: Drummer for Florida's legendary Stranger Band. Saw them for the first time at WYNF's birthday party concert, opening for Bad Company (w/Brian Howe). Blew them off the stage!! 
What a great band, too bad they never hit the big time, but I'll always treasure my copies (cassette & CD) of We Be Live.

Rock on John, rock on...

REAL MENU BEER LIST

Though to be fair, a little lower down it does say "See table card for complete list". But you gotta admit, still pretty funny...

MERRY XMAS...REALLY?

So I was driving home from the meat market last night, which takes me around the big lake near our house, and what do I see? Xmas lights!! Yeah, Xmas lights on a house a week before Thanksgiving! And them, a few blocks down, I spotted an Xmas tree lit up inside a house!    

 Seriously people, it’s way too early for that. It’s bad enough to see stores selling Xmas stuff (for the last 3 weeks) and listening to Xmas music over their loudspeakers. By the time Dec. 1 rolls around, I’ll be over Xmas already.

 I’m guessing by Thanksgiving the Valentine’s Day cards & candy will be crowding out the Xmas stuff.

READ THE FINE PRINT, OR ELSE!

" But the Palmers are far from being the only people not to

 read the terms and conditions online. In a bid to prove that 

very few people actually read them, in 2010 

GameStation.com - a UK-based games retailer - added an 

"immortal soul clause" to their T&Cs. The website claimed 

88% of customers hadn't read the clause, which gave the 

company legal ownership of their customer's soul."

(From BBCOnline)

HEY, WHO WOULDN'T?

 Want fat thighs after eating at a restaurant...?

Apparently this is the place to go, at least in Altamonte Springs.

FRIDAY FUNNIES

MAN EARS

Apparently what men use when they ‘listen’ to their wives, according to Karen, with whom I work. Apparently not a total deafness, but more of a selective hearing that filters out any information that the husband would rather not hear.

(Not to be confused with ‘old man ears’ that are generally hairy and stick straight out…)

MR BURNS ON BEER

“Smithers, this beer isn’t working, I don’t feel any younger or funkier.”

THANKS, I'LL GUARD MY OWN BEER

This weekend Phyl & I went (again) to the Epcot Food & Wine Festival. While trying the different foods is fun, the real reason I go is for the beer. Over the years they’ve added more countries/regions to the usual ones & most of them bring at least one beer along.

So, of course, I find a map listing online with all the foods/wines/beers listed and figure out which beers I haven’t tried yet so I know where to stop as we go around the countries.

 Anyway, at some point Phyl went to pee and I waited in the walkway for her. Along comes a guy wearing a t-shirt that said ‘Keg Security’, so I told him “Hey, keep up the good work!”, and as he turned to acknowledge, he dropped his beer! So of course both his friends and I told him he was fired from Keg Security if he couldn’t even protect his own beer!

Well, it was funny at the time…guess you had to be there…

6 SECRET (UNTIL NOW!) LAWS OF BUSINESS

1. Helmsley's Law of Deteriorating Personality

The bigger your balance sheet, the more likely you are to become a jerk.

2. The Universal Doctrine of Policy Expansion

The more employee policies you put in place, the less likely you are to treat employees fairly.

3. The Law of Diminishing Participation Returns

The more people who have input into a decision the less valuable the outcome.

4. The Inverse Square Rule of Proximity

The less time you spend with your employees, the lower their engagement and level of performance.

5. The Inverse Square Rule of Attractiveness

The closer you are to me the less attractive I appear.

6. Eastwood's First Law of Silence

The people who say the most have the least to say.

(From Jeff Haden on Linkedin.com)

SIGN ME UP FOR #9

Here are 15 of the craziest employee benefits we’ve seen:

·         Free mechanical bull rides in the bar across the street
·         Unlimited vacation
·         Free season passes to local ski resort
·         All the snacks you can carry
·         Discounts on homeowner and auto insurance
·         Free lunch daily
·         Fridge stocked with snacks
·         Apple laptop and workstation
·#9     Free beer on Fridays
·         Housing provided
·         2 hours of free housecleaning services a month
·         Bring your dog to work
·         “We promise not to poke you with a sharp stick.”
·         Free gym membership
·         Unlimited usage of the company Ping-Pong table


(FLEXJOBS.COM)

FRIDAY FUNNIES

THE MURDER OF ROGER ACKROYD

By Agatha Christie:

“The little gray cells of the brain,” explained the Belgian.

“Oh, of course; we all have them, I suppose.”

“In a greater or lesser degree, murmured Poirot. And there are, too, differences in quality.”

(And as an aside, that in this novel, first published in 1926 in England, there was quite a bit of talk about cocaine!)

GOT 300,000 POUNDS?

Well then, buy this record shop; in London since 1979

I'll tell ya, I would if I could...

HOW ABOUT 'DUMBASDIRT'

‘The number sequence '123456' was the most popular password among Adobe users exposed by a security breach, suggests analysis.’
From BBCOnline

I'M GOING TO CALL IT THE 'TEXTMOBILE'

Author: BBC News - Home
Subject: Concept car ditches steering wheel

Toyota previews a concept car that lacks a steering wheel, instead suggesting drivers would control it by shifting their body weight.

FILE UNDER: IRONIC

Formed in Los Angeles, California in 1978, the Go-Go's initially consisted of Belinda Carlisle (vocals), Jane Wiedlin (guitar, vocals), Margot Olavarria (bass), and Elissa Bello (drums).

 They were formed as a punk band and had roots in the L.A. punk community; they shared a rehearsal space with X, and Carlisle (under the name "Dottie Danger") had briefly been a member of punk-rock band The Germs. Due to a bout of mononucleosis, she left The Germs before playing a gig.

STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES

'Xxxxx is the former physical education teacher for Landmark Baptist Christian High School. The victim, now 19-years-old, told police that the first time they had sex was when she was 16, in the band room at the school.

Pastor Xxxxxx Xxxxxx said as soon as he got a complaint about Xxxxx acting unprofessional, he dismissed him.

"One teacher reported to me, 'well he's carrying a girl's book bags or her ball equipment or whatever it was after school'. Almost like you'd expect two teenagers to do," said Xxxxxx.

The pastor also said he had no idea anything illegal was happening at the time and told the girl's parents about the PE teacher's dismissal.

"I wanted to tell them since their daughter's name was mentioned to me. They said, 'well, preacher, no problem. He's an old family friend, he's been knowing our daughter a long time and it's no problem.' So that ended it," Xxxxx said.'

(Apparently he knew her in the biblical sense…names changed to protect the stupid…)

DID YOU EVER WONDER...

 What a 30 year old computer looked like? Behold...

Yes, the cutting edge of modern technology circa 1983; saw this baby at the 39 mile yard sale on Saturday; pretty neat, but wouldn't pay $125 for it!

FRIDAY FUNNIES